My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
