I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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