that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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