I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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