If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
