i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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