I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i now understand why vodka
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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