We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
