Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize