i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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