she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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