Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
