I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
