Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
