he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
