Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize