dude i'm inner monologue high
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize