im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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