see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
