Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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