hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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