I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
