I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
