Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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