My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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