CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
