So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We are all done wearing pants today
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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