If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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