I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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