Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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