So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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