Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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