i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he fucked my hip out of place.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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