idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
