I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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