Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
