I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
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