And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
