OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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