I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize