i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
