Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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