Me too!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
