So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
