ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
