I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
