so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
