She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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