Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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