I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize