At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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