Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
