Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
