i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
