All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
