I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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