Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
