We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
