so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
