you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
