it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
