Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
