Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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