It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
