I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize