i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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