He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
